Remote Control

Plath’s fig leaves become mine,
wafting down,
playing escape and evade they morph into a remote control.
I grope for their wilting ends:

Click.

One life illuminates the screen

Click.

Another...

Click.

...another...until I am channel surfing through the sitcoms and dramas and infomercials of subsistence.

Why didn’t I just order basic cable?

Too many choices...taunting me, not wanting to be left behind and yet running ahead of me so quickly I am out of breath.
My imagination gets a stitch in its side and pauses to allow no other thought but the searing pain of too many of them.
It stops, rests, leans up against a tree, under the shade.
Waiting for another leaf to fall.
Waiting for the wind to catch it in its arms and kidnap it for the simple ransom of a decision.

Maybe not so simple.

As I turn the leaves of my mind over to read their lines, their vivid descriptions that I am unable to convey, I search for the meaning they so desperately want me to see but cannot spit out.
Another page crumbles through my fingers.
The story is lost to me.
If only I had had a pen.
I would have taken meticulous notes, diligently learned, remembered.
I look down at my feet to see the scattered dust and kneel.
My fingers trace patterns, designs, endless, elaborate, complete.
I erase, begin again.
Now, I know - it is not set in stone.
I choose not one pattern but many.
Not one leaf, but all.
I shut off the television and go to bed, yawning.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll watch a movie instead.

Lisa Game, 2001




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